Episode #40:

Part 1: The Evolution of the Inner Critic and How to Silence It

March 3, 2022

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Episode #40: Part 1: The Evolution of the Inner Critic and How to Silence It

You all know the inner critic, it's that internal judgmental voice in our heads and depending on how you have it trained you can experience it in 3 different ways:

Judgement towards yourself
Judgement towards others
Judgement towards circumstances

Everyone has an inner critic, even the person that appears to be the most confident. Why? Because the human brain evolved to have an inner critic, it's part of our primitive brains wiring for survival.

However, as you grow it becomes your worst enemy, and one of the biggest things that stands in the way of your success, your happiness, your inner peace.

Listen in and learn:

All about the evolution of the inner critic
How to notice when your inner critic is showing up
Techniques to silence your inner critic

Coaching for Latina Leaders

Leadership ability is equally distributed but opportunity to lead is not. This podcast is for all Latina's, those that identify as leaders and those that don't, yet. You'll learn how to let go of guilt and self-doubt so you can show up with confidence everywhere you go. No more questioning if your idea is good enough to share, if it's worth it to speak up, or if you're a good enough leader. All that self-critical B.S. stops now. Listen in as masterful educator and Harvard grad physician, Dr. Vanessa Calderón, teaches you how to let go of the things standing in the way of your success as a leader. Get ready, this podcast will accelerate your personal and professional growth.

Dr. Vanessa Calderón, MD, MPP has over 20 years of leadership experience. She is a Harvard grad, ER physician, Life and Leadership coach, and a mother of 2. She's a first generation Latina and is dedicated to uplifting her community. She's the founder of the Latina Leadership Accelerator, where she uses education and coaching to support the personal and professional development of Latina's and all women of color at all stages of their lives and careers.

Leadership Accelerator

My 8 week skills based professional development program launches February 1st and will only be available as a FREE exclusive offer to my 1:1 clients. If you want in, schedule a consult above. You'll learn:

Public Speaking (this is next level, you'll learn how to deliver a talk like you were on a TED stage)
Negotiations 2.0
Lead and Manage Teams
Run effective meetings
Master Time and Organize your Life
Integrate your work and life like a CHINGONA
Master Stress and avoid Burnout
Let go of guilt, perfectionism and shame

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40. Part 1: The evolution of the inner critic and how to silence it

Welcome to coaching for Latina leaders, the only podcast dedicated to the advancement of Latinas at every level of life with your host, Dr. Vanessa Calderon a Latina with over 20 years of leadership experience, Harvard grad physician and mother of two.

Hey, mujeres. Before we jump into this week's podcast, I want to let you know about my course that's coming up. So the first week of April, I am launching my life leadership course the leadership accelerator. So this is going to be a 12-week course and the content is off the hook. So in the 12 weeks, we cover everything you need to execute at a really high level with a ton of self-compassion, you'll learn how to have an unshakable level of confidence. So even in those spaces that in the past have made you feel insecure, you show up with self-confidence, you learn how to be a brain ninja, so that you're hyper-aware of your thoughts and your emotions. And you're no longer paralyzed by guilt, by shame, by anxiety or fear of disappointing other people. And I'm going to teach you how to live a life of attention. So that the choices you're making every day really reflect your values, and you're thriving in those everyday life stressors. And I'm going to teach you the nuts and bolts of transformational leadership, we're going to cover those big three things that you need to be an effective leader, including public speaking. So I'm going to teach you how to speak to influence in any setting, whether you're giving a keynote address, you're leading a workshop, or you're just running a meeting, you're going to learn how to show up like you're on a TED stage.

Number two, I'm going to teach you the art of transformational negotiations. So you walk away from every negotiation feeling really good about the outcome. And I'm going to teach you how to manage people, I'm going to teach you how to be the best boss that the people that work with you have ever had. Okay, so I deliver the content in a way to make sure that you just don't learn it, but you actually start to use it and you retain it. So a year from the last day of the course, you're still using the content that you've learned. So the way the course is delivered is you get weekly modules. And these are super high yield. They're short, and they're easily digestible, because I know you are all incredibly busy women, and I am not about to waste your time. And you also get weekly coaching and teaching sessions. So every week we come together, and we review some concepts that you've learned over the week. And we do a ton of group coaching. And you also get individual one on one coaching sessions with me. And on top of that, and probably the best thing about this entire thing is that you get to join an incredible community. When you join the course you're joining a community of other really amazing and compassionate female leaders.

Now imagine being in a community with other really amazing women that care about your success just as much as you do. That's what the leadership accelerator gives you. Okay, so the program launch is April 1, the waitlist will be open on my website, the second week of February VanessaCalderonmd.com, and you want to make sure you get your name on the waitlist right away because you want to be the first to hear about any course updates. And you want to get first dibs at registration because it's going to be limited to only 20 women and I want you to be one of them. Okay, now on to this week's podcast.

Hi cuties. Welcome back to the podcast. So I am recording this podcast the first week of March, which happens to be the very first day of Women's History Month. So Happy Women's History Month to all you amazing women out there and everyone else who identifies as a feminist. And in honor of Women's History Month, my cousin sent me this really beautiful quote this morning by Serena Williams that I love so much and wanted to share with all of you. And the quote is this. "The success of every woman should be the inspiration to another, we should raise each other up, make sure you're very courageous, be strong, be extremely kind. And above all, be humble". I love that so much, especially because as I've been reflecting on sort of the essence of a lot of the qualities that I've always had since I was a child, a huge one has been curiosity, compassion, kindness, and humility. And so I really love that quote. Okay, so if you've been listening to this podcast over the last few episodes, you know, I'm launching the spring hope cohort of the leadership accelerator, and it launches on April 4, and I'm really excited to bring you this program because it is so effective. Now I use all of the tools that I teach, and it's the reason why I can wear so many hats as a mom, a wife, a doctor, a business owner, and a resiliency director of a large national organization and show up to all of my roles in excellence and still have so much time for Everything I love. I meditate every day I journal I exercise, I take myself out for dates every week. And not just me. By the way, over the last three years, I've been teaching all of these tools to my clients and my students, which includes CEOs and doctors, lawyers, teachers and other leaders. And they've all had very similar results.

So the accelerator itself is a 12 week program. It's a leadership development program. And it's going to teach you how to increase your productivity by 60%. And when you do that, you just have more time for the things that you love. It's going to teach you how to 10 Extra emotional intelligence, and how to create an unwavering sense of self compassion. It's really, really going to be fantastic and the enrollment is open. Now, we're capping it to only 20 people because we want to create an incredible experience for those 20 people. And I'd love for you to be one of them. So you can find more information on my website, VanessaCalderonmd.com. Now in the accelerator, we focus on four things. And those four pillars are the things that you need to become a more effective leader and a more effective human. And the fourth things are:

mastering your mind.
Mastering your emotions.
Mastering stress and resiliency.
Mastering transformational leadership.

Now part of pillar number one mastering your mind is to get really clear on the things that get in your way of success. And one of the biggest things that gets in the way of creating wholehearted success, which means having both a successful career and feeling success, peace and joy in your personal life, is your inner critic.

So today, we're going to talk about the evolution of the inner critic. And next week, I'm going to give you a tool to silence that inner critic. Okay. All right. So you guys all know the inner critic, right? It's that internal judgmental voice that's in our heads. And depending on how you have a trained, you can experience it in three different ways. It can show up as intense judgment towards yourself, it can show up as judgment towards other people. And it can show up as judgment towards circumstances. Now, the inner critic can be really mean, it can say things like, that was so stupid, why did you do that? It can be really arrogant, saying things like you're so much smarter than they are, they're not worthy of your time. Or it can be really dismissive. You know, who cares about this outcome, it doesn't matter anyway. Now, I want you in just a moment to think about how your inner critic shows up for you. And I'm going to share how you know, critic shows up for me. So my inner critic is really mean and can be really arrogant. And it shows up for me in times where I'm putting myself in a vulnerable situation. Anytime I think I'm putting myself at risk of failure at risk of humiliation or at risk of having my feelings hurt. My inner critic will show up, okay, so anytime that I'm trying something new in my career, I'm engaging in a new relationship. Or even if I'm speaking up in a meeting, sometimes depending on who else is in the meeting, sometimes my inner critic is a little, just like a tiny little whisper, like when I'm about to do something new, but I haven't done it yet. And I'm a little afraid, it will just be a little whisper, saying things like don't do that. That doesn't make any sense. That's so dumb. Why would you do that? Sometimes it can be really loud, especially when I've already taken a scary action, and I'm feeling scared or I'm feeling like humiliated. It'll say things like, that was so dumb. Why did you do that? Now everyone knows that we're so dumb. Now, I want you right now to take a moment. And think about how that inner critic shows up for you. When do you judge yourself the most? How does it show up for you? What does it say? Is it mean? Is it arrogant? Is a dismissive or does it show up in a different way? And I want you to ask yourself, when do you judge others? And how does that sound? Okay, take a minute to think about that right now. And pause the podcast if it's helpful. So if you have an insecurity about weight, you may find yourself judging yourself around food. If you have an insecurity about not being smart enough, you may judge yourself when you're around other people who you may perceive to be smarter than you. So I'm going to let you in on a little secret right now. And that is that everyone has an inner critic, even that person that you see that always appears so happy and so confident. They have it too. Everyone has it. Your boss has the inner critic, your significant others, your best friends, everyone out there has it. In fact, one of my favorite teachers, he's a Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. He's since passed. But um, he devoted his entire life to mindfulness and self compassion. And he had an inner critic and tells the story about how, even after 30 and 40 years of practicing all of these traditions of mindfulness and self compassion and doing this work As his life's devotion, his inner critic would still show up for him. The difference for him was that he wouldn't let it overrun him and run the show. And that's what's available to all of us. Okay, so everyone has the inner critic. And the reason why is our human brain has evolved to have that inner critic. It's wired into our primitive brain for survival.

Now, if you're a visual person, you can imagine your brain by putting and do this for yourself right now if it's helpful, but you can ball up your two fist and put them together. And the parts of your knuckles that are touching on the top, that's your evolved brain, that's your prefrontal cortex. Okay, your evolved brain. Now the parts of your wrists that are touching on the bottom, that's your primitive brain, that's the part of your brain that was wired for survival. And that's where the inner critic lives, that's where it comes from. Okay. So it's present in everyone because we have it for survival. Now, as you grow, however, your inner critic becomes your worst enemy, it becomes one of the biggest things that stands in the way of your success of your happiness and of your inner peace. And unfortunately, it has a tendency to get stronger as you age. And the reason why is there are these two feedback loops running in our brains. They're cleverly known as the vicious cycle and the delicious cycle. Now the vicious cycle is the feedback loop that strengthens the inner critic. So whenever you're hearing the inner critic voice, and its sounds really judgmental, and you use that an act upon that it strengthens the inner critic. That's the vicious cycle. Now the delicious cycle, on the other hand, that strengthens the prefrontal cortex, and the prefrontal cortex is our evolved brain. It's that part of our brain that separates us from all other mammals. And that's the part of our brain where our inner sage lives, and that part of our brain, when that part of our brain gets stronger, it weakens the inner critic. So next week, I'm going to teach you one tool to weaken your inner critic, and in turn, strengthen your inner sage. Now, as a reminder, if you liked what you heard today, and you want to become a brain ninja, and really learn how to always have your inner sage taking the lead, so you're more effective, you're more focused more productive, and in turn, you have more time for the things you love and improve your overall wellness. I want to encourage you to enroll into the leadership accelerator. You can find more information on my website VanessaCalderonMD.com. The enrollment is going to close on March 31st. Spaces limited and I'd love for you to be one of our next participants. Alright, until next time, adios.

Hey Mujeres, if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe rate review and share it with a friend. And if you love what you're learning here, then you have to sign up for my weekly love letters. I send you all the good stuff doses of inspiration and skills so that you can live lead and make money like a chingona. Subscribe on my website at VanessaCalderonMD.com. See you there.